I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
