oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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