I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
