He uses pillows to masturbate.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
