And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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