Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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