So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just threw up on my dentist
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
