I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I lost the right to judge tonight
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