My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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