Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
