This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
