we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
