There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
