and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
