I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
