I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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