omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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