We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
