I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
