Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
