in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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Now he's lighting his socks on fire
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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