I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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