bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
