I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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