She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
