I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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