Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
