I got chris browned last night
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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