she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
