handjob tips. give me some.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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