The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
