White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Let's paint friendship bongs
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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