i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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