Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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