It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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