at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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