is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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