He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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