Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize