Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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