Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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