Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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