Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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