suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
