I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
