You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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