I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
