Jerry, you need to find god
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
