ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
