if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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