her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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