Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
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You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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