Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
