we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize